List 7: Worst Traditions (both religious and secular)

"Is it that time of year again???" Damn...

Tradition: A time-honored practice or set of such practices.
ARGH. I'm not big on tradition. There are so many traditions... what to wear, what to buy, when to do something, how to do something, who to speak to, how to speak to them. Tradition is there to make sure that there isn't too much change... because old people might revolt if everything changed daily.

But not I, says the cat... I hate tradition. I say, "if it's a rule, break it. If it's a requirement, snub it. If it's pushed on you, reject it." Unfortunately, not many people agree and I'm still tortured with the "traditions" of my ancestors and peers.

So here is my personal list of the worst traditions:
10. Easter Egg hunts - that's right, you heard me. As a kid, I loved this tradition... and then I grew up and realized how many hard-boiled eggs I wasted because I've always hated the damn things.
9. The Christmas Office Party - I actually enjoy myself at these. But, inevitably, someone gets a little too wasted and ends up telling everyone what they REALLY think...
8. Annual/Semi-Annual Super Sale of the Uber Century - just so that the store can remind you that the item you bought last week is half-price now.
7. Family Reunion - Admit it. There are some people you have a problem with, even if you are related. And beer/BBQ doesn't make this any better.
6. Wearing green on St Patty's day/Not wearing white shoes after labor day/not opening public pools until Memorial Day - all three of these traditions are lumped into one. As a kid, I could NEVER remember when St Patty's Day was... and I still have the bruises from the pinches to prove it (and yes, I'm quite a bit Irish). And why can't you wear white after Labor Day (in the US, it's first Monday in Sep for my British friends)? And why, oh why didn't the summer parks open until Memorial Day?! In the South, late April through May was steaming, but everyone had to wait until the kiddies were out of school for the summer...
5. High School/College Reunions - an excuse for others to talk themselves up and feel more important than their former friends. And for someone to drink too much.
4. The Red Carpet on Oscar Night - "And here comes Actress A. Her movie bombed, but she is worth more than the entire audience combined. Here comes Actor B, he's a lunatic cult member but he's dating Model C - isn't that nice?"
3. The Inaugural Ball - There s/he is, the candidate that you did/did not vote for (which doesn't matter, since all politicians are the same), dressed to the max on tax-payer money, with hundreds of important people and donors also dressed to the max on tax-payer money, drinking and eating tax-payer money, and basically flipping off the lower classes.
2. The changing of the guard at "royal" palaces - I'm as red-blooded as any American (as my British friends know). And one thing I can't stand are all of my fellow Americans, as tourists in foreign countries, desperate to get a camara shot of some guy with a really tall hat who's walking funny. Aren't we the ones that rejected the concept of blue blood? They don't seem to remember that while they shove each other out of the way. Would be number one, but even worse than this tradition is...
1. ...Christmas Shopping - You scramble with millions of other shoppers for that ONE gift that everyone wants. You spend hundreds (and possibly thousands) on people you barely talk to for the rest of the year. And all you get are a packet of socks and book you'll never read. Good grief.

But who am I to judge? I have about a million traditions I follow each day...

Until next time folks... THE NATEMARE HAS JUST STRUCK!